listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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