We're like a lot better than the average bears
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
