I'm going to rape someone's good day.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize