Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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