He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
