One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
