thus making me awesome and them whores
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize