remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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