That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize