Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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