:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
