I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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