Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
