We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
