I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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