i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
