HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
