its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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