Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize