OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
