So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
