If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
