let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
