I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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