if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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