is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
