i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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