and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
