I'd wear matching sweaters with you
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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