I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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