So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
