how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can text with my tongue
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize