Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
