Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize