We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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