In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
