Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
