Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
