I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
