He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
this will be a night to untag.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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