and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
