kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
