I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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