that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
