There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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