I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
