I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize