i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
