I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
