i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
