I cannot find my penis.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
