i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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