How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
