Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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