I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
