So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
