bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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