So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
