Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
