I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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