White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
