Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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