i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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