Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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