At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I hate all girls vehemently.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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