I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Text me some of your sweat
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
