Small penises have feelings too.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Randomize
