my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize