we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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