Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
