She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
