mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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