I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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