what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
