let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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