I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize